One Song
by gamerhly
Summary: One Song will make a difference and prepare Joker for a 2nd chance. Takes place after the destruction of the first Normandy, during the time that Shepard is thought dead.
1. Prologue

In a dark corner of a run-down bar in the poorest district on the citadel, sat an ex-Alliance Flight Lieutenant; his hat pulled down to shadow what had once been bright green eyes. His beard no longer kept to alliance regulation, his uniform dingy and faded. Empty bottles of beer and whiskey lined his table. The Alliance grounded him and took away his commission, the only things he had been truly proud of besides being her pilot. The two things he loved the most were gone. The Normandy was destroyed and she died saving him. He was desperately trying to drown his sorrows, his guilt, and his regrets and wishing his life would end. It would be the only way to forget the past, and escape his nightmares.

His thoughts were always of her. He regretted never telling her how he felt about her but he never thought she would want someone like him. A smartass, a cripple, one hell of a pilot sure, but he was not what she needed so he kept his feelings to himself. He blamed himself for her death. If she hadn't had to save him, she would still be alive. He should have been the one to die. She should have left him behind. He killed her.

His thoughts were always the same, and night after night usually ended the same way, drink until they kicked him out, then a short staggering walk from the bar to his pitiful apartment where he would drink a few more beers and eventually pass out in his worn out recliner. Little does he know that all it takes to change everything is one song. One song will crash through his walls and cause him to hit rock bottom. One song will heal him and build him back up. One song will prepare him for a second chance.


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

_Explosions! Fires! Screaming and panic! _

_Shepard was yelling and giving the order to evacuate and get to the escape shuttles. _

_More explosions! More screaming! Thumps – the sound of bodies hitting the floor! Crew members dead, Presley dead!_

_Deep down he knew he should follow her order to evacuate but he was stubborn and he couldn't give up. It was his baby, his home. It was the only place that he could be near her. On the Normandy, he was important to her. He had to save his ship. _

_Then he heard her comment as she yelled at Kaidan. "Get to the damn shuttle. I'll haul Joker's crippled ass out of here!" The comment hurt and made him angry. He'd show her that he could save the Normandy. Then being crippled wouldn't matter. Then maybe she would know how he much he loved her._

_Escape shuttles launched! More explosions! He was yelling "hold together" to his ship, and "mayday" over the radio channels, hoping someone, anyone would hear his hopeless cries._

_Then she was there, next to him. "Come on Joker! We have to get out of here!" _

"_No, I won't abandon the Normandy! I can still save her!" Joker cried. He had to save the ship and by doing so he would save Shepard!_

"_The Normandy's dead, just like us if we don't get the hell out of here!" All he could hear was the anger in her voice._

"_No! We just have to….Oh no!" There was no hope left. The enemy ship was coming around again and this time the Normandy wasn't going to survive. He failed. He was numb and couldn't move._

_Flame cutting thru the ship! Shepard grabbing his right arm! Snapping sound! Pain that brought his thoughts back to his current situation! She was pulling him out of the chair and placing him in an escape shuttle. Shepard checked behind her. Another explosion! Shepard wasn't there. He yelled her name. He was afraid and there was nothing he could do. Why didn't she answer? How could she leave him there…alone? His eyes glaze over. _

_Fear! Panic! Despair! Anger! He sees a shadow but his eyes are filled with tears and then she hits the button. She's not with him. The door closes. The shuttle launches! He lets his head drop and his tears fall as he cries out her name again and again._

_One final explosion! He looks up. He failed! The Normandy is destroyed! He catches a glimpse of Shepard floating in space, struggling for air, dying. His fault. He killed her. Tears stream down his face, he screams in anger and despair and then he blacks out._

Joker awoke with a muffled scream and tears streaming down his face. He was covered in a cold sweat and the beating of his heart matched the pounding in his head. The guilt and the regret were still as strong as the day it happened. The anger still deeply rooted. Anger directed at her for calling him a cripple, for saving him and for leaving him behind in this galaxy. Anger directed at himself for the destruction of the Normandy and for causing her death. It had been six months, and it was still the same nightmare every time he passed out.

Every morning was the same and Joker had no reason to believe that it would be any different today. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve both to clear the tears away and to wipe the sleep away. He reached for his crutches and slowly made his way out of his recliner. Hobbling to the refrigerator, he grabbed a beer and then wandered to the bathroom. He rubbed water on his face, changed into another faded uniform and left, headed back to the bar as usual. He shuffled to his usual table, ordering a bottle of whiskey and a beer as he did so, barely noticing the strange man sitting at the dusty piano nearby.

The bartender brought him what he ordered along with a bowl of peanuts and pretzels. "Here ya go Moreau. Mind if the guy over there plays a bit of music? Thought this place could use a little music today."

"Hadn't noticed him. Free galaxy I guess, can't stop him even if I wanted to!" Joker said as he dropped his head to his hands. A couple of shots and the headache should ease some he thought as music started to play. He ignored the guy at the piano and started his usual routine. What did he care if the guy played the piano, it wouldn't change anything. It wasn't until later, when he was once again in his worn-out recliner that the melody came back to his thoughts. This isn't normal he thought and as he passed out, the words to the music started threading their way into his nightmare.


End file.
